Good Monday Morning Coffee to everyone! Welcome back to some more encouraging conversation. My week and weekend was wonderful, I am staying busy with a lot of fun projects and enjoying the weather. How has everyone’s else’s past week and weekend been. I hope everyone’s was wonderful as well. So lets start with our conversation!
Are you holding on to unforgiveness or is unforgiveness holding on to you?
Have you ever been in a place where someone did something or said something to you that left in you great pain. Whatever it was, you felt a deep hurt which is something that feels just to hard for you to let go. Maybe you want to but every time you try there is an anger that rises up in you or maybe this has broken your relationship and trust. Whatever it may be I am pretty sure we have all come across these hard situations. Its like you want to let it go but that moment in time just won’t let you go and you probably replay it over and over again in mind. When it replays again in your mind all those bad feelings comeback which causes you to be upset once again. It is like a terrible cycle but instead of allowing yourself to get caught into that cycle again I think it is time to throw a monkey wrench into it so you can break free from that unforgiving emotional cycle. Here are 9 ways to practice forgiveness until you become an overcomer.
What does God have to say?
I have already shared in pervious blogs that I am a Christian, so on this topic of unforgiveness I believe what the bible says which is, “if you do not forgive others, you will not be forgiven”(Me 😲). From that stand point I understand that I must forgive if I want God to forgive me and there is no other way around it. But I have to confess that there are times that it is still hard for me to let go or worse yet, it is hard to get the grip of unforgiveness off me. So after a while I started seeking ways to loosing unforgiveness’ grip.
Ask God to help you to forgive.
It is important to ask for God’s help in this area. There are so many stories of how people have carried the offense of others from childhood into their adulthood. So this should show us just how hard it is to forgive. I can testify that Jesus has taken away the pain of others on two or more occasions. After praying for help God helped me and I was able to let go of those past moments. Praying is a great weapon against unforgiveness so use it.
Loving your neighbor.
In the new testament of the bible we are given to major commandments. The second of the two is “love your neighbor as yourself”. When you decide to make the decision that you are going to treat the person who hurt you like you would like to be treated, it really is easier to change your approach towards that person. When we make a mistake or even if we harm some one intentional but later regret it, eventual we would like to be forgiven. We all need people to be patient with us and give us another chance so we should give what we would like to see reciprocated to us to that person. Like the golden rule says “treat others the way you would like to be treated”.
Stay humble.
This is something that I have seen to be pleasing to God. In every situation that I have been mistreat or wronged by another person. Instead of me fighting for myself the Lord has allows taking up my cause (I am not lying)! In the bible it explains that God is no respecter of persons, He will judge the situation righteously. God can not fight for you when you are doing all the fighting, so instead choose to leave the fight into the Lord’s hands and stay humble.
Repay evil with good.
I have a close friend that did something that I will never forget. My friend loves to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and so after investing her time in another woman’s life while hoping to win her for Christ, my friend started to realized that the lady was just acting like she cared about Jesus and that she was just using her. So instead of my friend getting upset she said “I am going to make her some soup”. Now my friend can really cook so the lady was blessed for sure. Eventually the woman move and that was that. My point of this example is to show you how to respond to offense in a positive way in order to protect your heart. When we fight fire with fire it only makes the grip of unforgiveness tighter so fight that negative offense with kindness.
Pray for them.
I think this is a very powerful way to come against the feeling of unforgiveness because it changes your heart over time about that person and situation. Praying for God to bless them, protect them, and touch their heart will definitely bless you, protect you, and touch your heart as well. You know, God is really awesome and he sees everything, so when He sees others praying for their enemies, he sees some one who really honors Him and the desires to be like His Son Jesus. I believe something happens to us in those moments that brings about release and maturity. Remember when Jesus was on the cross dying for us, for the people who put Him on that cross. He said “forgive them father for they know not what they do”. It may seem like people always know exactly what they are doing when they are causing some harm but haven’t we all did something wrong and then eventually, even if it takes years, are sorrowful and regretful for that wrong. Think about it.
Examining Yourself.
Have you ever found yourself arguing with a person, then you left that conversation heated, and then you start to think maybe you could have did or said something differently. Maybe you did not have to respond back like that. Maybe you were the cause of the argument because that person approach about a certain thing many times before and then after while the person felt compelled to explode on you😡! I know I have had those thoughts of “maybe I could have did or said something differently or maybe I should have said nothing at all.” It is important to recall the conversations and the actions that we have taken in those situations so you can learn from your mistakes and be accountable. If you were wrong then you need to seek forgiveness which leads to number 8.
Talk to the person.
The silent treatment is a terrible game to play because it will only keep you locked into unforgiveness. When you keep silent you are basically giving unforgiveness power over your heart, but when you say no, I am going to go to that person and work this issue out, you are breaking out of the prison of unforgiveness. People think that they are winning when they say I am going to show them by ignoring them but I liken that behavior to a person holding a knife at their “offender” but the blade is actually just digging deeper and deeper into their own hand because the sharp end is what you are actually holding. While that person decides “maybe I need to move on” you will continue to bleed emotionally. So let it go and go talk to the person so you will not get wounded anymore. Try to make amends and find healing.
Seek wise counsel.
We all know we have those people in our life that just seem to encourage you in your foolishness. Those are the people who will continue to keep you bound and never see things from a mature perspective (maybe you need to leave those people alone). It is important to have individuals in your life who will tell you the truth and urge you to the do right thing. When we seek the right counsel, we are getting an unbias perspective in order to see who really did what or said what. That is why there are marriage counselors, counselors or mediators at the work place, and counselors in the church. We need someone to step in from time to time to bring balance into our relationships and thinking. Two of the best counselors I know is the Holy Spirit and the bible. If you have God’s Spirit dwelling in you them when He speaks by nudging or speaking to you then take His counsel. The word of God will give you a reality check as well and if you take His words serious you can save yourself from some unnecessary trauma.
So those are the 9 ways of how I practice forgiving others. Over the years I have seen how they have help me and those who have taken my advise and found freedom from the prison of unforgiveness and you will too.
Thank you as always for reading my post. After the Quiet Time series I am ready to bring in some serious content back to my Monday Morning Coffee blog. Remember to like👍, subscribe, comment, and share. Also please take a look at my store called My Coffee and Encouraging Conversation. When you spend $60 or more you will recieve free shipping. Well enjoy the rest of your week and bye for now👋.
-Kenya😊
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