How to Overcome the Comparison Trap!

Good Monday Morning Coffee everyone😊! Welcome to another encouraging conversation to get your new week started in a positive manner. So if you are ready for today’s conversation then grab something cozy to drink☕ and let’s get into it.


So in today’s conversation we will be discussing how to deal with insecurities. So our discussion comes from my own experience with insecurities. Over the years I have been in a secret comparison war within my mind. Secretly I would always look at others who seem to be doing well and just assume the they just had to be in right standing with God and since I was dealing with so many insecurities, when I would consider all my flaws, I would question “if I was right with God or if God loved me”? When I would hear about all the wonderful things God was doing in the lives of others and see how spiritually gifted others were I would be supportive but inside I was depressed because of my concern of own spiritual state. I would struggle so much with my confidence and faith that I believe this is what made me feel like an outsider who did not have much to add to a conversation but as time went by I knew I did not want to keep this mindset. I decided to accept my “short comings” and my personality which God is already totally aware of.


Along the way God helped me to become more confident in my relationship with Him. One night as I was praying, God spoke something very freeing to my spirit that has helped me conquer my comparison issue. He told me “it is not a competition”. You see, before he told me that, I meet a new convert to the faith. This person seemed very friendly and had a great zeal for the Lord. This person was very confident but soon their confidence in their relationship with the Lord was becoming the main topic of our conversation to the point that it started to become overwhelming. I had only been speaking to this person for only 2 to 3 weeks and the conversation focus only on their life, what God was telling them, and doing in their life. Also there was some immaturity there as well. After a while I notice that this person was making me feel anxious and uncomfortable every time when I would see their phone number and since I have experience with individuals like this person I knew the effects that this relationship would have on me. So eventually I brought the relationship up to the Lord and soon I felt an urgency to end the relationship. After I ended the communication, soon after, that is when God reveal those words to me, that it is not a competition. When He spoke those words I felt a release, so I could be myself and just come to God as I am.

Having the right focus!

Photo by Moose Photos on

So I mention all this to give all this to give you some context to our topic for today. If you are struggling as a Christian because you are believing that your are inadequate, you are not good enough, or you just do not measure up, then I cancel those lies in the name of Jesus! The truth is God loves us unconditionally and the only thing that makes us worthy is Jesus. I believe that the comparison issue could be seen as idolatry, just as the person who is going on and on about their relationship with Jesus could be seen as the same. We can see how these two mindsets can become a snare to us and to others in both situations because it is more self focus rather than Jesus focus. Basically one is saying that since my spiritual walk does not look like someone else’s we are not getting it right or we can cause others to think that if they are not doing or experiencing what we are doing or experiencing, then they must not be getting it right. Even myself have felt the uneasiness in some cases where I have shared with others some of the things that the Lord was doing in my life. I have prayed and ask God to help be more sensitive to those who may not be able to handle those things yet. On the other hand there are others in whom I can share without feeling uneasy. So when we understand that were are not in a competition we will understand that we are actually in this race together.

We are to lift each other up like in Philippians 2:3, we are to esteem each other more highly then ourselves. I know it is tempting to share everything concerning your relationship with Jesus but it is first unwise and it is important to keep in mind that some of those things should be kept private. Like a husband and wife who have certain things only reserved for them to know, it should be the same with us and Jesus.

In Conclusion.

So in conclusion, it is not a competition. We need to be mindful that although we can certainly look up to others they are not the standard, Jesus is. Also we need to be mindful of our conversation and be sensitive to the feelings of others. Many times our conversation will reveal so much about our hearts. Also it is very important to know that it is okay to disconnect from others that may not be a good fit for you. You are not always going to connect with everyone. Remember do all things in love, take one day at a time and stay encouraged in the Lord!

Thank you for joining me for today’s Monday Morning Coffee conversation. I hope this conversation has inspired, challenged, and encouraged you. I hope we will meet but here next Monday for our Moring Coffee. If you were blessed by this conversation please like👍, subscribe, comment, and share! Have a blessed, beautiful day and bye for now👋❗


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By Kenya

I am a christian mother of a beautiful daughter. I have served in the navy, wrote a children's book. Now I am trying my hand at blogging hoping to share some encouragment from the things I have learned along the way on the jounery of life.

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